On Ignoring and Atheism-and how the 2 are Related

One terrible way to hurt someone is to ignore them. I remember a few times, as I was growing up, when my mom would get upset with my dad (now-don’t worry-we just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary) and she would pull out the “ignore” weapon. It was so weird and awkward and uncomfortable around the house for those few days.

Mom on the left not ignoring my dad-who is on the right

If we were driving somewhere, like going to church-HA!-she would just sit there are stare out the window and act like no one was around. Apparently if dad offended mom, somehow we also got roped into the offense as well. She would just sulk, making a point to say nothing to any of us. I can not imagine WHAT my dad said to her or did not say to her to cause the “ignore” treatment to ensue, but it must have always been so terrible in her mind to justify a few days of completely pretending like NONE of us were around.

It was difficult for me as a child to wrap my head around “WHY” she was choosing this particular weapon (or WHY she needed to choose a weapon at all?). My dad was-and IS-such a great husband, father, and provider. He is so loving and good and kind and hilariously funny. But-of course-he IS human, so I can imagine he probably did mess up from time ot time. But, my mom grew up in a VERY, VERY, VERY VERY (times 1,000,000) dysfunctional family. I am sure ignoring each other was a weapon of choice and that it only added to creating more weapons and wars in their home.

I tried using this weapon a few times at my house with my husband, but decided it was NOT a good one against my family…….especially when my husband pulled out the “YOU ARE ACTING LIKE YOUR MOTHER” phrase-the BOMB of all BOMBS.

I digress…..

So, this all got me thinking……..this is probably a lot like the atheist to God (just bare with me here…..). They simply ignore Him. Even though He is so loving and good and kind, they choose to look the other way and often times also ignore His children in the process as well. Usually it is a result of growing up in a VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY (times 1,000,000) dysfunctional situation where a lot of weapons were used and at the end of the day, the offended throws the blame in the wrong direction.

Eventually, my mom had to make a choice. IF she wanted to do the right thing, she needed to talk to my dad (like a REAL adult) and acknowledge the utter silliness in her behavior. IF she continued to ignore him, her marriage, her life, everything would just fall apart.

Romans 1:19-20 tells us that God has made Himself obvious to the whole world and that we are “without excuse” when we refuse to acknowledge Him-even flat out ignore Him.

In reality, the truth of God is known instinctively, for God has embedded this knowledge inside every human heart. Opposition to truth cannot be excused on the basis of ignorance, because from the creation of the world, the invisible qualities of God’s nature have been made visible, such as his eternal power and transcendence. He has made his wonderful attributes easily perceived, for seeing the visible makes us understand the invisible. So then, this leaves everyone with out excuse.
Romans 1:19-20 tpt

If you are married, don’t use the ignore weapon! It really is a weapon and it not only hurts your spouse, but it really hurts the children.

If you are an atheist, ponder Romans 1:19-23. You are without excuse.

If you are an atheist who is married, I don’t know what to tell you? I have seen life done both ways-those who ignore and those who don’t. Thankfully, my mom eventually learned to lay down that weapon and respond like a big girl. Maybe that is where we all need to start!

Somebody Help the Girl…….who needs to lay down the ignore weapon.

I tried

Pray to the PROMISE-not to the PROBLEM

I am a praying woman. I pray about everything. I pray constantly. I feel like I am continually saying things to the Lord like “What should I do here?” and “Give me the words to say to this person.” But, when problems do arise, I usually say way too much and also focus way too much on the problem when I am talking with God.

This is unreal-but I remember telling a friend once upon a time that I thought Jesus did not use enough words when He taught His disciples how to pray. I was like “Seriously! I can’t pray like THAT! I am a woman. I use so many words and surely God would never understand me if I just said ‘Give us this day, our daily bread.’ It’s just so-well-inadequate.”

SOMEBODY HELP THIS GIRL!!!!!

But fast forward, I now have my own children and I know what hearing a child talk too much sounds like and I. GET. IT.

Something that has changed my outlook on prayer is to pray to the PROMISE and not to the PROBLEM. So many times, we say prayers like this “Lord, those POOR people who have had so many TROUBLES need your help. Please help little Jimmy because he has been laid up in bed for three weeks and can’t seem to move and he NEEDS to be helped by You.”

Blah. Blah. Blah.

My dear, sweet mother-in-law has been such an inspiration to me in this area of praying to the PROMISE. She always says “Why should we give the devil a double victory?” This translates to “Don’t talk about the problem, pray about it, and pray to the PROMISE!” In other words-tell the problem who holds the promise. And because I am a practical person, I will demonstrate what I mean…….”Lord, YOU hold the future, YOU are the one who made little Jimmy and YOU have told us that YOU are the great physician, the great I AM. In Jesus’ name, I PRAY your will be done in Jimmy as it is in heaven. In heaven, there are no diseases. You went to the cross to deliver us from these things. Give Jimmy THIS DAY his daily bread for YOU are HIS redeemer.”

So, as I reflect on my prayer life, I will remind my problems that they are subject to all the promises in God’s Word-and ALL the promises are “ ‘Yes’ in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.” (2 Corinthians 1:20-and THANK you Lord that your Holy Spirit intercedes for us and WHO I am sure has translated my very wordy and problem focused prayers)……..

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:20

Blog moved and caused a few hiccups

Hey friends –

My blog had to be moved to a new host and consequently, a lot of it didn’t transfer properly. So please bear with me as I’m working on fixing missing pictures and other oddities.

Thanks!!!!
Angie

Besetting Sin-Teach to the Weakness

A co-worker and I used to laugh at ourselves whenever we got a compliment at work or whenever we messed up and got a reprimand. We would sing an old Mac Davis song “Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way!” (for the full version, go here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCsNunGnqE0 ) It was a very child-ish way we had to kind of dismiss any of our craziness. Even though we had both been in sales pretty much our whole working lives, we still needed guidance and correction in how we handled customers, wrote contracts, and closed the deals.

Me and my “perfect” co-worker

I think we have this amazing sense to apply this kind of thinking onto our kids as well. They are just children, after all. They really don’t “sin”……they are really perfect and sometimes the choice isn’t ‘bad’, it’s just their way of doing things. How is it that our little angels could EVER really make a wrong choice or that their behavior is REALLY all that detrimental? I mean, kids will be kids-right? For instance, that time (and the other 15 thousand) when they threw a tantrum isn’t going to hurt them or anyone else-right? Or when they said “NO!” and their face turned purple with disgust -that’s just their little way of exerting their personality. How about the time they smacked you in the face? Probably a slip of hand? Or that time they swiped something from your friend’s house and put it in their pocket? Just a curious display of their inner spy? (BTW-these have all happened with my kids…….)

Well, I would like to give some advice on how to FIRST-recognize the “besetting sin” behavior and then SECOND-give a tip or two on how to TEACH TO THIS WEAKNESS in your kids.

Webster’s defines “besetting” as “to trouble persistently”. If you are a Christian, you may have an understanding of the nature of sin-we all are born with a nature to choose the opposite of what God’s best is for us! So-even as sweet and as innocent as our little cuties are-they have this in them, too. Some kids seem to go through life without ever making a wrong choice (they are the sneakiest of all-hee hee). Others seem to shout from the rooftop “THIS IS THE ONE THING I JUST CAN’T CONTROL!!!!!” (perhaps always bullying the other kids???? Or telling the teacher “NO!” and stomping off….HEY! I know some adults like this!). So-it may be hard to identify that ever “present” thing or it may be so obvious what your kid struggles with that you could put lots of money on a winning bet that they’ll behave a certain way.

Let me just say-most likely-whatever it is, they will struggle with it their whole lives. That is not to say it will master them, but that it may be something that will be there, possibly lurking in the background and rearing it’s ugly head from time to time (like it did for me last night when I got ‘angry’…..like WAAAAY too angry). If you can identify it early, you will not only help give them tools to overcome it, but help them develop to their full potential. You don’t want anything holding them back-RIGHT!?!?!?

I would like to help us see what these root sins are. The best way I think we can identify anything is to turn to God’s word for help. I mean, this is where we get the idea of sin as well as how we deal with it and how we see GRACE!!!!!!! So-grab a Bible and a cuppa jo’ and let’s dig in.

The best place to start is to identify the positive side of living for God-AKA ‘non-sin’. Notice, it’s not “going to church, giving alms to the poor, reading your Bible”. (Not that those things aren’t important….)Galatians 5 (ESP vs. 13-26) is what I like to call the ‘Control Panel’ for our lives. The Bible calls it the “Fruits of the Spirit”. Let’s identify those fruits: love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It tells us that if we possess these qualities in abundant measure-we will not gratify ourselves, we will be living to please God, and we will walk by HIS HOLY SPIRIT! Wow-I want to live like that and I want my kids to live like that.

Remember #9 in “Somebody Love the Kids” post? Well, it encourages us to read the Bible with our kids. I would encourage you to not only read the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 9:22-23 with your kids BUT memorize it with them! Write this out on a piece of paper and tape it to their mirror in the bathroom, sing a song about it, or play games to help them memorize it! This is one of those passages I just think will go far with them in all areas of their lives.

I love to also learn the opposite of a verse. It just seems to make things STICK. Something fun to do with your kids is to learn Galatians 5:22-23 and then have them come up with the opposites of all of those character traits: hate, anxiety, restlessness, impatience, nastiness, ugliness, unreliability, harshness, compulsion! WOW-can you see any of those in your kids?

SO-how do you recognize what that THING is? Some are more glaring than others, but if there is a habit of them doing something undesirable over and over again, I’m pretty sure that is the THING! My eldest child has SELF-CONTROL issues. She is very compulsive. Her besetting sin is certainly feeding whatever she wants FIRST! How is this “SIN” you might ask? Well, first and foremost, it is cleverly disguised as “SELFISHNESS”. I’m pretty sure loving your neighbor as yourself is high on that list of most important commandments.

How do I know this is hers? Well, she many, many, many times will do things without even thinking about them. For instance, if she sees something on my plate she wants to eat, she will just grab it right off! I am not kidding. I have had a steak, sizzling there on my plate, I am getting ready to take a bite and WHAM! She swoops in and grabs it and throws it in her mouth. Not only is this totally disgusting and rude, but HELLO! That’s MY dinner! Now, granted she probably would never do that to a stranger, but for some reason because I am her mom, she thinks she can! What the heck?!?!?!? But, this could translate into some behavior that could not only hurt her prospects in the job hunt, but possibly lead to things that -although may seem harmless at first are just plain SELFISH!

My second child’s besetting sin is IMPATIENCE which leads to ANGER! A kind of cross between a lack of self-control and a lack of gentleness also creates this impatience. It is pretty obvious when this thing rears it’s ugly head. Doors slamming, red face, objects hurdling through the air at mach speed-you know-all before 10 am. She has auburn/red-ish hair and I SWEAR it hails from that.

I bet if you sat down and really thought through your childrens’ behaviors, you could quickly identify that THING! Even if you can’t really put your finger on it, let’s at least try to learn how to TEACH TO THAT WEAKNESS!

FIRST-breathe!

Then, once you think you know what IT is, when it rears it’s head-let your child know, in a calm tone, “Sara, you are being very ________ right now. Do you think that is a behavior that is pleasing (or kind, or acceptable, etc.)?” Don’t just scream at them and say “You always do ________!” and then sit in frustration. Identify it RIGHT AWAY!

Next, teach to that. By asking “Do you think that is behavior that is pleasing, kind, or acceptable?”, it helps that child get a spirit of reflection and conviction. God gave us the Holy Spirit and then HE uses us to teach our kids. Until they understand the “Fruits of the Spirit”, it is our job to help them identify living contrary to those fruits. Not only will you be frustrated if you identify with out action, SO WILL THEY! Frustrated kids do all sorts of yucky stuff…….(more on that in another blog)…….

I am almost 100% sure that they will answer correctly. If not-you know the answer and if they say they think it is pleasing, then quickly let them know it is not. THEN teach them ways they could have handled the situation better.

THEN-and this is the hard part-GIVE THEM A CONSEQUENCE. In our home, we do a myriad of things to help them think twice about repeating that behavior. One of my favorites is to have them serve the person they hurt. If my youngest gets angry over a chore, then she has to do her sister’s chore! If my eldest gets on her sister’s game during said sister’s game time, not only does she loose game time for the day, she also has to fold that sister’s laundry.

If the words to each other are un-kind, then they have to come up with 10 kind things to say to each other, or write a sweet note to the other. We also make them write sentences-the SAME sentence like 25-50 times. This will drill the right behavior into their heads (and their hands-ouch!). When my youngest recently got so angry that she threw something at her sister, I made her write 50 times “My anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. ” James 1:20.

Once you know the THING, and you learn to IDENTIFY it, then you use creative ways to TEACH to that weakness, your child will begin to also understand how to better handle this in their lives. Take some time to think of creative consequences that will help teach to the weakness. Parents, even when we don’t actively teach them we are teaching them. When we don’t actively train them, we are training them. That scares the heck out of me. I might as well be active about this teaching and training business. It is my job. It is my responsibility.

Holy CREPES!!!!!!! (really-these things are from HEAVEN)

Do you see my joy?

I remember the first time I ate a crepe. I was a junior in my high school french class. My teacher was “off the boat” French and she decided we would make crepes. She brought in a hot plate. She brought in this huge bowl of what looked like pancake mix. She brought in whipped cream and berries and Nutella spread and chocolate chips and OH-how I LOVED my french class.

Getting the opportunity to take French was a dream I achieved once I entered high school. I couldn’t wait to go to French class everyday. I would leave French class and then head to art class. I would always try to speak to my other classmates in French. I am sure they thought I was a total WEIRD-O.

Eat like a Fruit Roll-Up…..

Anyways-back to the crepe.

It was light and fluffy and eggy all at the same time. It had this hint of lemon and had a certain “feel”. All the yummy toppings were rolled perfectly inside and I felt “special” somehow when I ate something that was prepared for me by an actual French lady who loved her food and culture. Also-I didn’t feel all gross and full after I ate them like I do when I eat pancakes. (And, I’m pretty sure most French folks would be appalled seeing me eat my crepe like a fruit roll-up……)

OH-and the Nutella! This was also the first time I had Nutella! If you do not know what this is, please do yourselves a favor and go purchase a jar RIGHT now and make this recipe and see if you, too, do not believe this whole concoction is a recipe from heaven.

I adapted this recipe from an old Shape magazine article as well as my best recollection from what my teacher taught us that day.

Ingredients:

1 whole lemon

1 cup white (organic if possible) all-purpose flour (do NOT use whole wheat-it will not work)

4 egg whites

1 cup non-fat milk

1/3 cup water

1 tsp. vanilla extract

2 TBSP baker’s sugar

1 tsp melted butter OR coconut oil

4 egg whites

First, crack your eggs to extract egg whites. Reserve the yolks for another time (Did you ever hear about the newest Fairy Tale? Egg White and the 7 Dwarfs? Ha! Get the Yolk?……….).

Add 1 cup of flour to your blender (I use my Vitamix for this one!) You can then add melted coconut oil (or butter), milk, & water.

1 cup white (organic if possible) all-purpose flour

1 TB oil & 1 cup milk

1/3 cup water

You now want to add some FLAVOR into your crepe. I was appalled that this teacher of mine added lemon into the batter. I had never heard of such a thing. But now a days-food is so “scienc-y” and I have gained an understanding of the benefit of adding “acids” to your foods. They not only cut the sweetness, but add a layer of flavor to many dishes!

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 lemon zested

Juice from the same lemon…

Also-don’t forget to add your sugar-2 TBSP’s………..

Mix together

Once everything is in the blender and looking kind of gross-give it a swirl for about 30 seconds (don’t over-swirl or you’ll get stiff egg whites…..I don’t have a good joke for that).

After Swirl (AS)

Turn on your burner and – I would suggest you get a non-stick pan (yes-I am NOT a fan of teflon, BUT for anything with eggs, I am……….)

Heat to medium

Spray with oil (or use butter)

Pour enough to barely cover pan

Swirl until pan is covered completely!

Now wait about 30 seconds and you will start to see little bubbles all around the edges of your crepe. Wait another 30 seconds and then -using a thin spatula-FLIP! If the underside was brown-you done good, girl……..

If unsure, check for brown…but usually 1 minute will do it!

Cook for another 30 seconds then slide onto a plate. With this recipe, you will get about 10-12 crepes. I have doubled it in the past-and things just did not turn out quite the same. So-if you want more, just make a second round of batter.

Slide onto a plate

Smear with NUTELLA and some yummy whipped cream. I roll mine into a little crepe burrito and serve with a cup of coffee. Then, I dream of walking the streets of Paris in my little beret and saying “Oui! Oui! C’est Magnifique!”

Smear with Nutella and pour a Cuppa Joe and say “Oui! Oui! C’est Magnifique!!!”

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